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monchardonneretIn moments of stupidity one should not look to the prior before realizing stumbling into the next, and somewhere between Jean-Claude, Christine and the dark haired mortal who has slackened my lust for everything this evening I find myself a bigger fool in the coming of the sun than at it's earlier resting.
As certain pieces of the puzzle fall into places, other pieces fall out and seem to vanish from the table.
I fear I will never......
He's angry still. I can feel it like a cloudy haze throughout this place. A cloudy haze of anger with my name on it, being directed at other who mistakenly get in the way tonight. Who say the wrong thing. Who question with only the slightest of a glance. And he seeks solance in the boy for the moment, would that I could feel less jealousy for anyone who is allowed his release, his comfort, his trust. There are moments of tonight I hoard and yet try not to look at. Words, touches, emotions.....I'm lost.
And I'm as wrong as he's wrong. I am be his pet, his amusing toy, his often forgotten fool....
She's secured a prime location. Better than I expected. Thought I'm still very unsure of the vows I made when she requested to start looking. There are enough pieces of me scattered to the wind. Need this be another? And there is her way tonight. She'd be a grand distraction, soft and feirce in either guise, but she is not someone to be had while waiting, she is not the type to be left hanging and I would not be had for my kind. She could find some else. Someone more whole...more bea...more worthy.
I have entangled myself to more of this city's monarchy.....and they appear to be attempting to eat me alive.
And so I loose myself....in him, in one that which fears, which is capativated, in which longs for my kind, even not in the ruin of one such as I am now....and I lose myself, lose this soiled face, this ungodly hope, and these waterless tears, longing to never return and always returning at the end. The ectacy can not save me. It only quenches momentarily till my mind thinks once more.
It can only damn me for what I still don't have and can't reconsile to never having.
As certain pieces of the puzzle fall into places, other pieces fall out and seem to vanish from the table.
I fear I will never......
He's angry still. I can feel it like a cloudy haze throughout this place. A cloudy haze of anger with my name on it, being directed at other who mistakenly get in the way tonight. Who say the wrong thing. Who question with only the slightest of a glance. And he seeks solance in the boy for the moment, would that I could feel less jealousy for anyone who is allowed his release, his comfort, his trust. There are moments of tonight I hoard and yet try not to look at. Words, touches, emotions.....I'm lost.
And I'm as wrong as he's wrong. I am be his pet, his amusing toy, his often forgotten fool....
She's secured a prime location. Better than I expected. Thought I'm still very unsure of the vows I made when she requested to start looking. There are enough pieces of me scattered to the wind. Need this be another? And there is her way tonight. She'd be a grand distraction, soft and feirce in either guise, but she is not someone to be had while waiting, she is not the type to be left hanging and I would not be had for my kind. She could find some else. Someone more whole...more bea...more worthy.
I have entangled myself to more of this city's monarchy.....and they appear to be attempting to eat me alive.
And so I loose myself....in him, in one that which fears, which is capativated, in which longs for my kind, even not in the ruin of one such as I am now....and I lose myself, lose this soiled face, this ungodly hope, and these waterless tears, longing to never return and always returning at the end. The ectacy can not save me. It only quenches momentarily till my mind thinks once more.
It can only damn me for what I still don't have and can't reconsile to never having.
